Publication 350 111 Discipline For Young Children Lesson 2 -Books Download

Publication 350 111 discipline for young children lesson 2
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Discipline for Young Children,Lesson 2 Discipline and Punishment What is the. Effective discipline helps children learn to control their Harsh physical punishment and verbal abuse can never be. behavior so that they act according to their ideas of what justified as ways to discipline children Parents usually spank. is right and wrong not because they fear punishment For when they are angry a parent may not realize how hard he is. example they are honest because they think it is wrong to striking the child Verbal abuse hurts the child s self concept. be dishonest not because they are afraid of getting caught. The purpose of punishment is to stop a child from doing Why Punishment Doesn t Work. what you don t want and using a painful or unpleasant. method to stop him Physical punishment usually doesn t work for several. reasons First it makes the child hate himself and others. There are basically four kinds of punishment Physical punishment makes the child think that there must. be something awfully wrong with him to be treated so. physical punishment slapping spanking switching badly If children think they are bad then they will act. paddling and using a belt or hair brush bad A vicious cycle is formed The child who has been. treated harshly has no reason to be good Or he may be. verbal punishment shaming ridiculing using cruel good just to keep from being punished and not learn to be. words saying I don t love you good because he thinks it is the right thing to do. withholding rewards You can t watch TV if you Children who have been spanked feel that they have paid. don t do your homework for their misbehavior and are free to misbehave again. In other words spanking frees the child from feelings of. penalties You broke the window so you will have, remorse which are needed to prevent future misbehavior. to pay for it with money from your allowance, The first two kinds of punishment physical and verbal. are not considered to be effective discipline methods The. other two withholding rewards and giving penalties can. be used either as effective discipline methods or as punish. ment depending on how parents administer them,Mild or Harsh. It is important to look at the way parents administer physi. cal punishments, A swat on the bottom is a mild physical punishment While.
it may do no permanent physical harm it does not help. the child develop a conscience Instead it teaches him that. physical violence is an acceptable way of dealing with. problems Parents should avoid physical punishment If. they find themselves using it then something is wrong and. their method of discipline is not working They may as. well admit that spanking is more effective in relieving the. parents frustration than in teaching the child self control. More effective methods are needed, Note Since it is awkward to refer to the child as he she all references in these lessons to the child as he refer to both boys and girls. Parents who use physical punishment are setting an Nothing else works. example of using violence to settle problems or, solve conflicts Children imitate their parents You ve got to let kids know who is boss. behavior When parents use physical punish, ment children are more likely to use violent They asked for it. acts to settle their conflicts with others,It clears the air. Another disadvantage of using physical,I was spanked and I turned out OK.
punishment is that parents have to find other, discipline methods when the child becomes Reasons for spanking which parents. as tall and as strong as the parent Why not seldom give are. start using effective discipline methods,when the child is young T. hey are mad at their husband or,wife and take it out on the child. Where reward and punishment focus, on the child encouragement and reality discipline target the T. hey are angry and don t stop to, act Reward and punishment teaches the child to be good think of better ways to discipline.
as long as we are looking, They don t know how to discipline more effectively. When rewards are our chief way of motivating children we. run the risk of creating carrot seekers children who are It relieves their feelings of frustration. always looking for and expecting a reward every time they. do something good or right If we give a child money for It is easier quicker and requires less thinking than. making his bed this week he ll wonder where his money other discipline methods. is next week Instead of being self motivated by a desire to. Some parents spank because they place a high value on. cooperate or help other family members we have taught the. obedience Their whole aim is for the child to mind to. child to look to us for his source of motivation, do what he is told without question There are times when a. Effective Discipline child needs to obey instantly such as when he starts to run. out in the street without looking,Helps the child learn self control. When obedience is the parent s main objective how, Can be used with teenagers ever the child becomes passive and loses his zest for life. Builds the child s self esteem The question of spanking is an emotional issue which. parents feel very strongly about They can be divided into. Sets a good example of effective ways to solve prob one of three groups They think either. 1 Spare the rod and spoil,Harsh Punishment the child.
Teaches the child to deceive parents 2 I can t imagine anyone. laying a hand on a poor,Won t work with teenagers defenseless child. Tears down self esteem 3 Other kinds of disci,pline are more effec. Teaches the child that violence is an acceptable way. to solve problems,Parents who spank,Why do Parents Spank. Parents who spank their children rather than using other. discipline methods usually say, ask What s wrong with it It isn t a question of right or Using Consequences as a Form of. wrong but of what is best for the child Perhaps parents. who spank frequently should ask themselves Discipline. Why do I use spanking as the only way to discipline Letting children experience the consequences of their de. my child cisions is a hassle free way to discipline young people. Children learn from experiences just like adults We call. Does spanking work it learning the hard way The child learns that every act. has a consequence for which he is responsible,How did I feel when I was spanked as a child.
Parents can declare that the consequence of not coming to. Did it make me stop doing what I was spanked for the dinner table in time to eat is that the child does not eat. or his dinner that evening Hunger is a natural consequence. of not eating If the child complains mother can say I m. Did I sneak around and try not to get caught doing it sorry you feel hungry now It s too bad but you ll have. to wait for breakfast The child who experiences the un. Often attitudes toward physical punishment reflect religious pleasant consequences of his behavior will be less likely. beliefs and ideas about what children are like Child devel to act that way again. opment educators believe that the child is born neither good. nor bad they have the possibility of becoming good or bad Parents should tell the child before it happens what the. according to how they are treated the kind of experiences consequences are for breaking a rule If the child knows that. they have and their reaction to their environment Since these the consequence of not getting to the dinner table in time to. educators believe that children are not naturally bad they eat with the family is not eating then he has a choice He. think children need to be disciplined in ways which help them can choose to get home in time to eat or he can choose to. learn to do what is right rather than be punished be late and not eat He must understand that he has a choice. and that he must accept the consequences of that choice. The child also needs to know the reason for the conse. quence for example it is extra work to keep food warm. and inconsiderate of other family members, It is important too that parents be willing to accept the. child s decision that is they must be willing to allow the. child to go without dinner if he chooses to miss the meal A. general rule of thumb is always give a couple of choices. provided they are choices the parent can live with. Natural Consequences, Natural consequences allow children to learn from the natural. order of the world For example if the child doesn t eat he. will get hungry If he doesn t do his homework he will get. a low grade The parent allows unpleasant but natural con. sequences to happen when a child does not act in a desirable. Logical Consequences, Logical consequences are arranged by parents The con. Harsh discipline focuses anger on the parent sequence must logically follow the child s behavior For. example not having clean clothes to wear is a logical. Effective Discipline allows children to hurt from consequence of not placing dirty clothes in the hamper. the inside out and focus on their actions, Consequences Teach Responsibility sibility for his behavior and any. consequences he experiences, Kristin left her dirty clothes on the floor and never placed going inside are the result.
them in the dirty clothes bag as mother requested Nagging of his own behavior. scolding and threatening did no good Kristin continued You can begin giving. to leave her dirty clothes on the floor choices as soon as the. child can experience, Mother decided to use logical consequences She told. the consequence of, Kristin in a firm and friendly voice that in the future she. his behavior For ex, would wash only clothes that were placed in the bag After. ample a very young, five days Kristin had no clean clothes to wear to school. child who plays, and she was very unhappy to have to wear dirty rumpled.
with his food in, clothes After that Kristin remembered to place her clothes. stead of eating can,in the bag,be lovingly removed. Kristin s mother gave her the responsibility for placing from his highchair. her clothes in the proper place to be washed If mother and told All done. had relented and washed Kristin s clothes when she had It won t take long be. not placed them in the bag she would have deprived her fore he sees he has a choice he can. of an opportunity to learn to take responsibility for herself be up in the highchair eating and getting positive attention. If parents protect children from the consequences of their from the parent or he can be hungry on the floor. behavior they will not change their behavior,Consequences Are Learning Experiences. Some parents would not be willing for their child to go to The purpose of using consequences is to help the child learn. school in dirty rumpled clothes Only they can decide if to make decisions and to be responsible for his own behavior. they want to offer the child that particular consequence Consequences are learning experiences not punishment. For example if father yells angrily at his child Put up your. Using consequences can help a child develop a sense of. toys or you can t watch TV he is not encouraging the child. accountability It leads to warmer relationships between. to make a responsible decision However if he says calmly. parents and children and to fewer conflicts The situation. and in a friendly voice Stuart feel free to watch TV as. itself provides the lesson to the child, soon as your toys are picked up he allows Stuart to make. a choice The secret of using consequences effectively is to. Natural Consequences Cannot Be Used in stay calm and detached Allow the consequences to be the. all Situations bad guy not you,Parents cannot use natural consequences if the.
Parents cannot apply consequences if they are, health or safety of the child is involved If a young. angry They cannot conceal their anger from the,child runs into the street without looking it is. child their voices will give them away Try to,not possible to wait until he is hit by a car a. view the situation objectively as though the,natural consequence to teach him not to run. child were a neighbor s child and not your,into the street Instead he should be taken into.
own and administer the consequences in,the house and told Since you ran into the. a firm and kindly manner Remember that,street without looking you cannot play. giving a child a choice and allowing him to,outside now You can come out when. experience the consequences is one of the,you decide to look before going into. best ways that children learn,the street,Consequences work when the child is trying.
This is a logical consequence,to get the parent s attention by misbehaving and. Because running into the street,when children fight dawdle and fail to do their. can harm the child he cannot,chores Consequences can be used to get children. play outside until he learns to play,to school on time to meals on time and to take. safely in the yard He has a choice responsibility for homework The child learns that if. he can stay out of the street or he he doesn t pick up his toys he can t go out and play. can go inside He is given respon, if he doesn t wash his hands before meals he won t be served.
any food and if he fights with his brother while in the car. the car will be stopped until calm resumes,Using Consequences Takes Practice. It is not easy to use consequences as a way to discipline chil. dren It is hard work to think of consequences that really are. logical And it requires lots of patience Sometimes it takes. several weeks to get results, Parents are so used to telling children what to do that it is. very difficult to sit back and let the child experience the con. sequences of his actions The effort is well worth it however. because you are sending a powerful message to the child that. says you are capable of thinking for yourself, The differences between consequences and punishment are. Consequences Punishment,calm tone of voice angry tone of voice. friendly but firm attitude hostile attitude, willing to accept the child s decision unwilling to give a choice.
Discipline vs Punishment,To discipline effectively think about these ideas. 1 Effective discipline methods work better than punishment in teaching children how to behave. 2 The more parents use effective discipline methods the less children need punishment. 3 There is no excuse for using physical or verbal punishment to discipline a child. 4 Using consequences as a discipline method helps children learn to take responsibility for their behavior. 5 Consequences must be logically related to the misbehavior. 6 The child must see the relationship between his misbehavior and the consequences or it will not work. 7 The child must know he has a choice when consequences are used. 8 Use consequences in a firm kind friendly manner,SEE HOW MUCH YOU HAVE LEARNED. Place a check by the phrase which best completes the sentence. 1 Harsh punishment teaches a child,a self control,b to use violence to solve problems. c to respect his parents, 2 Effective discipline methods help children learn. a to behave according to their ideas of right and wrong. b to be sneaky and not get caught misbehaving,c to fear their parents.
3 Child development educators think that children are born. c with the possibility of becoming either good or bad. 4 A natural consequence of leaving dirty clothes on the floor is. a having to wear dirty clothes,b not being able to watch TV. c having a parent pick up after you,Practice Exercises. 1 Take a good look at the way you discipline your children this week Make a note below of each occurrence. What the child did What I did, 2 Then ask yourself Did the discipline work Would I do the same again Can I think of a better way to handle it next. 3 Try using logical consequences this week Pick some behavior that doesn t get you uptight It is difficult to learn a new. discipline method when you are upset 4 A,a What did the child do 2 A. b What consequences did you and the child decide on 1 B. c What happened Did it work 7 ANSWERS, A RECORD OF MY DISCIPLINE PRACTICES AND THEIR EFFECTS.
Complete one week after studying Lesson 2,Check the blanks that apply to you. 1 The way I usually discipline,Yell and scream Isolate. Explain reasons calmly Spank, Remove privileges Let the child experience the consequences. Give choices Threaten but don t follow through,Show disapproval Distract. Ignore misbehavior Scold,2 During the past week I,Acted calmly More Less About the same.
Acted firmly and kindly,Used kind words not unkind words. Gave choices and let the child learn from the consequences. 3 The atmosphere in our home has changed to one of. Friendliness More Less About the same,Cooperation,Understanding. Adapted from Practical Education for Parenting by Kent G Hamdorf Extension Specialist Human Relations Family Development Ohio Cooperative Extension Service.

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